I saw my surgeon yesterday and got my last drain removed. It felt fantastic to be free! At the same time, the poor guy had to face my emotional wreckage head on.
For anyone going down this same path, and DIEP flap is their option...just be prepared for a long and emotional healing process. This is a major MAJOR surgery...so much more than I expected. I have a 22 inch incision/scar across my waist you can see the ends of when looking at me from the back...and two other oval incisions about about half that length each (up above). I left the hospital with 4 JP drains painfully hanging from me and orders not to push or pull anything with my arms and to do my best not to use my stomach muscles for the next 6 weeks. This means no PT or strength exercises until then. I’ll admit, it’s been a tough 3 weeks figuring out how to do the basics.
I’m sure people are wondering “Why would anyone do all this for boobs??” Believe me, I’ve asked myself that question a 100 times since my surgery.
Here’s the deal... I didn’t get a choice to have cancer, or to have the required double mastectomy if I wanted to live. I was also forced to decide my “long term boob game plan” just 3 months into my diagnosis and in the middle of intense chemo. So I listened to my doctors and I read everything I could get my hand on...and I connected with others who had a similar path. For me, it was either DIEP flap or nothing...since they expected my body would reject implants given my prognosis and the meds I will be on for the next 5+ years. So I did it.
My surgeon Dr Tae Chong is the best in the state, and did an incredible job with the surgery and also did an amazing job during our visit yesterday. It just so happened Thursday night and Friday were “bad days”...my pain was more intense than it had been in over a week (mostly due to nerve pain as things reconnect) and I felt like I was going backwards. I was angry, emotional and exhausted.
As he walked me through (again) what my schedule for the next 7 months would look like, I began to crumble... it will be 3 months before they do the outpatient sculpting surgery, anther 3 months before the next outpatient reconstruction procedure and then 6 weeks before the final finishing touch procedure. It felt like so much for “just boobs”.
Then he reminded me this is all a process to restore me and help me feel like myself again (which is what I really wanted a year ago). He reminded me that I have to give up control and go with the flow...the schedule might shift and I need to be prepared for that.
Good news- I woke up this morning and I feel 100% better physically and emotionally. I imagine I am the metal cop in Terminator and just because you cut something off, that won’t stop me! I have the power and the body to put it right back where it goes! Nothing is going to stop me, I can conquer anything! Again, thank you for everyone’s support and please don’t hesitate to message me with questions or additional perspective. I am an open book for those who want it or need it. I also want to keep learning from others. 🥰🥰
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